The miracle in the mess

crop-20151103_095950I’m standing here in the muck. I didn’t plan to be here.  When I imagined starting my blog about healthy conversations I saw myself sitting in a cozy office supported by a staff large enough to attend to all my basic needs so that I could focus on guiding the world with my wisdom.  It was my version of being a guru sitting on the mountain top.  Reality is much more humbling.  Some days I do feel wise, energized, and strong but not today.

How about you?  Do you ever feel buried by clutter and conflict that is local, national, or global?  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your choice.  It is your work.  It can be overwhelming.  You’ve done the personal work.  You’ve solved your problems.  Now, you’re stuck in messes that people you love have created.  They aren’t your problems but they impact you greatly so now you have to find a way to be authentic in the midst of hard times.

Don’t burn out.  The most important thing to do is to keep going. We’re communal creatures. We need each other.  When you feel overwhelmed it can be tempting to avoid problems or rush to fix them.  Neither of those approaches work.  You need to find your own way to serve at a sustainable pace.  If you’re doing something, you’re making a difference.  One step at a time can make a world of difference so don’t give up! Practice self care and model it for others.  Do a little less than you want to so that you can maintain your pace.  Think mountain climbing instead of race car driving.

The most important thing to do is to keep going. We’re communal creatures. We need each other.

Take your next step.  Don’t try to create a complicated strategy.    Don’t make it worse.  Triage the damage.  Stop the injury.  Meet immediate needs.  Then start considering what your role is, how it may need to change, and what your boundaries are in this situation.  Create your comfort zone for hard times then open the window.  This isn’t the time to take unnecessary risks.  It’s an important time to work from your strengths.  Don’t hesitate to reach out to others in your brokenness.  They need you as much as you need them.

Learn how to become stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.  At the bottom of the muck is strength, clarity, and resiliency.  It takes courage, patience, and grace to discover this miracle. Be gentle with yourself in the process.  When you muddle through tough times you discover what is important to you.  You discover the people and values worth living for.  You develop the strength you need to take bold risks in good times.  Each time you survive hard times you develop new skills, new insights, and new resources.   Resiliency gives you the freedom to risk because you know from experience you can survive failure.

You can’t avoid tough times.  You can use them to make you stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.  These are the miracles hidden in the muck of being alive!


Do you want support during your tough times?

Contact Reba for healthy conversation coaching.

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